The Collinsport Weather Report: Episode 86: Traps

Monday, October 24, 1966

My name is Victoria Winters. I live at Collinwood, but the part of the mansion I’m in at the moment is a strange one, one that has been closed off for many years—never used, never visited.

Liz asks David if he’s seen Vicki or knows where she is.

Roger says she can take care of herself and David echoes this. Liz is worried.

Vicki continues to call out for David to let her out.

She says she won’t say anything to his father or his aunt Elizabeth.

Roger is surprised that Carolyn went out on a night like this. Liz says Vicki isn’t with her.

David comes up with a possible places Vicki could be, getting to “Maybe a ghost took her,” before being sent to bed.

He stops to gloat on the stairs: “Now they’ll never find Miss—Victoria—Winters!”

Liz tells Roger that Carolyn was upset over a fight with Joe and said she was going out to have fun, with or without him.

“Good,” Roger says. “I hope she does exactly that.”

Carolyn and Burke arrive at Burke’s hotel room. He makes them drinks. She asks that hers not be too strong—but strong enough. They debate whether he is really that old or she that young and then drink to themselves.

If Sam were there, he’d have a Shakespearean quotation about the storm.

“Do you really wish Sam were still with us?”

Burke admits Sam would be a third wheel.

“Isn’t that supposed to read fifth wheel?”

“Not if you’re riding a two-wheeled carriage. And speaking of carriages, yours is very good.” He invites her to park it. (Yes, this is the sophisticated older man Carolyn is goofy over, even though he wants to destroy her family.)

He says they should forget about this so-called war between him and her family. She agrees and wonders what they should talk about. Burke suggests him and his past. Carolyn wonders if there were lots of girls in it. He says there’ve been a few.

“Well, in that case, I think I’d prefer talking about your future.”

Roger asked David where he and his crystal ball are going. He says he’s getting something to eat. “I thought you were told to go to bed,” Roger says.

“I was told to get ready for bed,” David says.

Roger wonders when David became so concerned about exact words. He asks David why he’s playing with that silly toy. David, of course, says it’s not silly. He can see lots of things in it. He’s looking for Bill Malloy’s killer.

Roger thinks he should look to see where Miss Winters is. David says he can’t see where she is in it. Roger says maybe he shouldn’t ask the crystal ball. Maybe he should ask himself where Miss Winters is.

Vicki hears a noise and thinks it’s David come back.

She tells him she won’t say anything to Liz or Roger about his locking her in.

She knows he only thought it was a joke. The storm rages outside.

Burke tells Carolyn about Rio at carnival time. She says it sounds heavenly. Not entirely. She says there must have been hell-raising too.

“There’s a thin line between the two.”

“I bet I know which side of the line you’re on.”

“My dear Miss Stoddard.”

“Carolyn.”

“My dear Carolyn.”

She asks him to try it without the “my.”

“Dear Carolyn.” She says He tells her about a girl he knew once. He couldn’t speak English and she couldn’t speak Portuguese, but she taught him a lot about coffee.

She asks if he’s ever been in love.

“Yes. Once.”

“Is it always such a painful experience?”

“Not really.”

Roger wishes he knew what it is that David knows.

Liz arrives with a key to the other wing.

She found it on David’s desk when she came in to check if he was in bed.

Liz says she’ll go try it in the door.

David admits it’s the key. He found it a long time ago.

Liz says if he tells her he found it and didn’t do anything else with it, she’ll believe him.

She goes upstairs to put the key away.

Roger says David should look in his crystal ball and see if Roger believes him.

Burke tells Carolyn a story about being marooned on an island with a beautiful young girl for three days and three nights and nothing happened. Her people were chiefs of a neighboring tribe, and they knew that he was out to destroy her family.

“So, there I was, alone, with this beautiful daughter in a hotel room—”

“I thought it was an island.”

“Now, don’t interrupt. Every man is an island unto himself. So, there we were. And I knew that if I made so much as a pass at this beautiful young girl, it would be totally misconstrued. Naturally, the natives would think I was—was using it to get my terrible retribution. They wouldn’t believe for one minute that it was because I was entranced by the beautiful fair maiden.”

“I thought she was a native girl.”

“But blonde. A beautiful blonde young girl.”

“Did she show you her identity card to prove her age?”

Burke says there wasn’t time and it wasn’t necessary. She knew she should tear herself away from him and swim home. “She was a very good swimmer.”

“Well, it’s been a charming evening.” Carolyn puts her coat on.

She says she didn’t mean it the way it sounded. “This has been the most wonderful evening I’ve ever had in my whole life.”

“Do you think we could have a few more?”

“Yes.”

He offers to drive her home. She says the chiefs might not approve. Besides, she’s a very good swimmer. He kisses her good night.

After she leaves, he gloats. “Miss Carolyn Collins Stoddard, you’d better be a good swimmer, because soon you’re gonna find yourself in a whirlpool, with no way to go but down.”